Posted by Jackie, UST Senior, Philosophy and Catholic Studies
In less than 300 days I will be walking down the aisle and saying my big “I DO!” Although I am both eager and excited, there are a lot of questions that have begun to surface. I am just starting to realize that I will no longer be an “I” but a “we.” So, what does that mean for my future? If I start having children can I work or does the Church say I should stay home and raise my children full-time? Do I have to homeschool, or can I ship my kids off on the morning bus? Does the Church have an instruction manual anywhere? As these questions began to plague me I was blessed that Catholic Studies offered me a summer research grant to dive deeper into these sorts of questions.
In particular, I focused on mothers with young children and whether or not they should work. After three months of intense research, writing, and contemplation I reached a very interesting conclusion: there is no one answer. Rather, each individual woman must use good discernment in order to follow the vocation that God has in store for her. One suggestion from Claire Wolfteich seems to me the most feasible and sensible: “The integration of work, family, and religious life may appear over the course of a lifetime. The pieces that [do] not seem to fit, the zigzag line, eventually looks like a path – at least for some women. A seasonal perspective affirms the multiplicity of endeavors that can give service and express the human relationship to God”(Navigating New Terrain125). So that’s it! There are different seasons of life. We often want to think in categorical imperatives, thinking that to be holy we must do this or that. Yet, life is seldom as black and white as that, and when seen in hindsight, both working and raising children can bring one closer to God. The best advice I heard overall is from University of St. Thomas School of Law professor Elizabeth Schiltz, when she told me to only plan six months at a time. She said that “every child is different, every season of life is different” and so I must be honest with myself, and be confident that God will use the Holy Spirit to guide me. More than any strict formula, what I found we need is a renewal of families in general, both husband and wife, mother and father – for being a mother and father is one's primary vocation. Our culture is witnessing great attacks against the family, with divorce, abortion, and gay marriage all at the forefront of the culture wars. A commitment must be made once again to strengthen marriages and families, renewing society at large.
